Saturday, September 25th, 2010
At his Hugo Award acceptance speech at Worldcon in Melbourne recently, China Mieville stated, and I paraphrase only slightly, that Sea Monkeys are shit.
I choose to stand against such vile and hateful assertions. To whit, I give you:
This is Brian. Brian Shrimp. And he is the sole survivor of my most recent – and, tragically, least successful – colony of Sea Monkeys. All the others perished, but Brian has survived. And not just for a day or two, but for weeks and weeks after the others have met their maker (possibly Harold von Braunhut).
My God, if there was but a surviving female as well, imagine the new breed of super Sea Monkey that would arise from the ashes of this lost civilisation. But sadly, Brian is the last of his kind, surrounded by the corpses of his fellow brine shrimp.
If he survives long enough, I might start a new colony, raise it for a while, then introduce Brian into them. Brian Shrimp, a God mixing with mere mortals, an Apollo amongst Artemia. What a sight to behold.
Sea Monkeys are not shit, China. Brian Shrimp is living proof.
Here endeth the lesson.